and then there was air

finally, i can breathe again like a normal human being.

i haven't made much progress on anything but perhaps that is because i am sitting in front of the computer. it sounds awkward but i waste a lot of time sitting here not doing anything when i could be sitting in my room with a pencil and some paper getting things done.

at least, i know that is a fact i just haven't felt motivated yet. i wonder what i am waiting for.

battling sickness

so i am very very sick. but all i can say is that i am very very glad that i am sick at home and not while i am in school in boston. because i can just imagine going into HQ and getting everyone in the corps (as well as HQ staff) sick and then all those corps members going to their respective schools getting all those kids sick and i could single-handedly be responsible for a LOT of people getting sick, of all ages, shapes and sizes. maybe that's an exaggeration of what could happen, but it is highly possible.

so i've stocked up on tea, juice, robotussin, and ginger. being sick makes it hard to work on the grant, apart from the fact that i've never had to do a budget before for a health fair, just for a conference, this is very difficult for me to work on alone. but i am getting there hopefully.

also, i found my care force reserves app in my e-mail inbox and i am filling it out now so that i have it ready for when i get back to service on the 7th. i am pumped for this upcoming semester because there are so many good things going on.

i'm making my fraction flashcards for my kids during math lunch so that we can get our fraction show on the road. so, break is productive, despite the fact that it is break and we are supposed to stop working for a while. i think being sick and forced to stay in my house makes it even more productive (apart from the long sleeping periods) because there is nothing to do but read paulo coehlo books and drink tea.

where cold is in my imagination

i made it back to virginia, after a weird/surprising delay at logan airport. i ran into two people that i knew, one from high school and one from middle school, on the last flight out of logan to dc on saturday night.  it made the delay that much more interesting. then! there were at least 5 people from my high school on my flight back, which was super strange. and i couldn't fall asleep because the flight is too short.  in that respect, sometimes i wish i took the train or the bus home more regularly.

starfish opening day
we all worked so hard on planning out the details for opening day and we didn't even get to do it with the after school kids. yes, i was bummed. yes, everyone was bummed. but it was snowing and matt made the executive starfish decision to not have it that day since one of our kids was not in school (and i quote "that's 1/5 of our starfish corps...", me: "it's not like they can't get sick some other day... it's winter" -- mostly because i was mad that we weren't doing it and i was sad for the kids because we'd worked really hard at getting them hyped about it).

clinton innovation grant
so, at city year, if you have a super project idea, but there is no money to do it (i.e. it's a non-profit, there's no money for staples sometimes) you can apply for a bill and hillary clinton innovation award. basically, it funds projects from $500 to $5000 and that fall within the guidelines. this year, the project has to benefit the whole school, whole child model.  because there are so many sites across the country (17, going on 18) we have to apply to our sites first and then the top two move on to the national selection process. BLING! i wrote one for a health fair to have in our community in may. and it made it through our site in boston as one of the two, so now i have to work at making it a stellar proposal for it, to submit before jan 4. so that is a highlight/joy of my life.

rotary scholarship
i just found out that i am confirmed to RIO!! (aka brazil, my first choice) so that is pretty exciting. and i'm applying to a summer intensive at middlebury to get my portuguese up to par so that rotary can let me go. otherwise, i can't go. so that's where i stand now.

staying strong

it's been a few days since i last posted. my last ten days can be summarized into the following.

NELA (new england leadership academy)
falling on ice
school
looking for children's books
major realizations
Rotary confirmation (country unknown)
snow!


NELA
Corps members can apply for the New England Leadership Academy for extra leadership experience/opportunities. I applied, along with everyone else on my team, but because it means that you are out of service (aka out of school) for the days of the leadership academy, not everyone can go. i got super lucky, because i feel that everyone on my team was qualified and got to attend nela last week. it was eye-opening, looking into how teams work and how to address them as a living, breathing organism. i really enjoyed it and even though i'd had a lot of opportunities to lead projects and teams, i have a much more defined leadership style now that i hope to put into practice. its called the new england leadership academy because corps members from rhode island and new hampshire came up and down to boston as well, so it was nice to see some fresh faces. we had lots of great presenters from HQ come and do their thing for us and we got to see some higher ups in city year. it was really eye-opening for me, being able to look inside the organization and the strategies for running a successful team. we also went candlepin bowling! and it was pretty hilarious because most of us had no idea how to do it. i also figured out a way to avert crisis on the team and it worked out well.

falling on ice
so for the first time in a long time, i went outside for recess two thursdays ago because it was snowing and i was excited. way too excited. i ran outside, after lending my gloves to one of my students because he didn't have any, and my kids jumped on me saying my name and grabbing my arms and pulling me in every direction. i guess you could say that me going out to recess is a major event. so there i am, enjoying their signs of affection when a girl from matt's class comes up to me and says, somebody is bleeding and she points over to where a large group of kids are standing in a big circle. and i start to run. bleeding! snow! (thats my thinking right there) and somehow i managed to run over the only icy spot that had gotten covered up by snow. and that's when i had a movie-like fall and my head bounced off the hard ice, saved only by a ponytailm, my thick hair and a fleece hat. and i laid on the ground thinking something was broken with snowflakes accumulating in my sleeves and on my face. my eyes were closed and i felt kids running/shadows around me and i could hear them. and one of them was like, yo, let go of my teacher!!! it turns out it was the one kid i thought i hadn't even been able to connect with. and then that kid is like, grab her arms, sit her up! they're like in my face saying my name and asking me if i'm ok and all i can do is fall back over. onto my back, closing my eyes and letting snowflakes fall on my frozen face.

then i had to go to the school nurse to get an ice pack.

school
i didn't really go that much because i was at NELA. i went on thursday last week and then again today. today only 9 kids showed up to class. about half. not bad for a massively icy/snowy/rainy weekend that made all sidewalks dangerous to pedestrians.

looking for children's books
i spent a long time looking for children's books with lilli online about education and poverty. its tough, let me tell you. they just dont make children's books like that at all.

major realizations
i have a lot of goals that i am striving for in my personal character. and its nice to know that i am only 22 so i have time to get myself together. but at first i was sad because i thougth 22 was old and i cried a lot. like i do usually. i am not afraid to say it either. i cried/cry a lot.

Rotary confirmation
got confirmed. still don't know where i am going. orientation is in NC in january. and i have to use some of my vacation days from work to go.

snow!
it snowed a lot.

freestylin

ok so i haven't heard from the Rotary people so i'm not even sure if I got a Rotary scholarship yet. but this morning a second grade teacher free-styled. right now. to try and get a kid to listen to what he had to say. there are small bursts of creativity here that i love.

snow!

first super snow. well not super, but it stuck to the ground and that is all that matters. we have a stray cat living in our house, our living room is clean, we burnt something in the oven, i hung out with non-cy people and cy people this weekend and i went to capoeira twice this weekend. my back and my ridiculous blisters are killing me, but i want to go to bed within the next 20 minutes. yeah. i know, i am getting old.

life in boston is evening itself out. and it feels nice. i also got a rotary scholarship!!!

too fabulous for words

i had a few joys today. seriously i think sometimes that it gets better & better every day. like the school song we have.

today, we (the cy corps members) led the school words of success in the morning. it was hot, especially when we panicked when the kids were leaving the blacktop to go inside for class and we hadn't started yet. but it made me feel good. and today was a great day. super ups all around. andre gave me some daps. and it was nice. took some pictures at afterschool because i've decided we need to document our activities. and i left my house in 20 minutes today, instead of my usual thirty, which is incredible because, yeah, i got extra sleep.

today we were doing factor trees in class and since i had a substitute, things were rough, but i was sitting on the rug with a bunch of kids, working with them in small groups on the prime factor trees worksheet. and so i explain to mark what is going on and he says ok, i understand. and i'm like, great so draw me a prime factor tree for the number 48 while i help someone else, ok? and he says, ok.

i look back at his paper and he had drawn a tree. like an actual, trunk and leaves thing. i laughed and he laughed because he knew that wasn't what i wanted at all. but there are moments, just the smallest things that make me smile. and that's what a joy is all about.

return to greatness

i've been back in boston since friday night (late, of course -- my flight got delayed and then i was a witness to some doings on the T so i ended up talking to the cops...). i'm excited because i am ready for tomorrow. i made arroz con leche for my kids because i promised them that i would bring them something delicious and that's pretty much my go-to dessert that always tastes good. and its pretty delicious this time if i do say so myself.

i've packed up my backpack, my uniform is pressed. and i am about to get a few hours of sleep to get ready to be at school for a few hours and then team meeting. and then i have a mtg about the DB (daily briefing) and another team event. dinner at chili's. but by the time i get there i'll already have eaten dinner since i can't really hold out that long. i'll probably just have a snack there. maybe not even.

two up, two down (VA)

so i'm here in virginia for thanksgiving.

i called sara yesterday during afterschool, or i texted and then she called, it's all really fuzzy -- she said my kids had asked her where i was and why i didn't come yesterday. and i was like, sara i totally told them like 50 times last week and at least ten times on monday that i was going to virginia on tuesday. and she said, well they were asking anyway. i was like, tell them i say hi.

am i really that necessary now? i think of myself as a distraction in the classroom but if they notice when i'm gone then what is that really saying? what am i really doing?

the thing is that, right now i am so tempted to stay at home and never go back. which i don't want to do. because i can't really leave MY fifth graders. how did it take all of two seconds for 19 random 10-11 year olds to become mine? why is this harder than traveling on my own? it's harder than anything.

pitw #159. this is hard. be strong. (my favorite one of all)

pitw #61

to solve a problem or get a major task done, "release energy."

organizational expert peter drucker reminds us that just like in nature "energy" within an organization cannot be "created" -- it can only be "released." there are almost always enormous resources of untapped energy available at city year, and the best way to solve a problem or get a major project accomplished is to "release" energy around that problem or project. sometimes that means just letting people know about the problem or project -- and letting those with the energy come forward. other times it means creating a special team. for example, in the first year of city year rhode island the organization simply did not have all of the staff resources it needed to conduct the serve-a-thon or graduation. instead the call went out to the corps, and the energy released was extraordinary - corps members were pivotal to making both events outstanding. because city year seeks to be a "catalyst" or spark for broad civic engagement and idealistic action, city year corps and staff must become experts at techniques for releasing idealistic energies.


and that was putting idealism to work #61. (bing! - the sound a lightbulb makes when it goes off in your head.)

after-school calls

made some calls to parents tonight to recruit more kids for our Starfish program & things went well. i enjoyed calling my students' parents and talking to them about the program and how it would be beneficial for their kid.

it was a busy day and tomorrow is service.

a couple of joys

at shaw's (the grocery store near back bay station/the prudential center) -- a random young guy came up to me in the bread section while i was decked out from head to toe in city year gear since i was coming from the office to the grocery store and the following occurred...

ryg: hey, hey city year girl!
me: hi...
ryg: don't give up.
me: ok?
ryg: i really want to thank you for what you're doing.
me: (big smile) ok thanks :)
ryg: (walks away)

at after school andre says to me, hey dawg, give me some daps aka hey, do a the finger snap handshake with me. andre, the kid who spit on me. yeah he peed on the floor today in the hallway... but i mean, a joy is a joy.

black tie, cy style

so i went to a gala event for world unity, inc. it was pretty much one of those city year exposure things and they sent ten quick-emailing/responding corps members out to the even with a guy from external affairs. the food was good, we were too poor to bid on any of the items, but it was a pretty excellent deal for a friday night. i ate delicious things and had a good time laughing it up in uniform and chatting it up when the live auction got a little too pricey and i couldn't pay attention anymore.

there was a gospel choir and a tango show.

but seriously, the most important thing that happened this week was yesterday. i was leaving afterschool, saying a general bye from the doorway of the classroom and andre (the kid that spit on me, kicked me, and slapped my glasses off my face -- all in one day) ran up to me and jumped into my arms and said BYEEEEEE! i was in shock. i thought he didn't want anything to do with me. but then, what?! so yeah. it was a total joy.

also i finished all my RASL (research and systematic learning) data entry stuff today and i am all caught up on the last three weeks!!!!! it's so fabulous i don't even know what to say except for its a PITW that came to mind all at once about when you finish a task that it's like a release of energy (putting it in as soon as i find my handbook...).

oh and i turned in a DB (daily briefing) to be used for visitors at City Year Boston. should be a good document. it looks good this month for sure.

good things all around. and my team led PT this week at Copley Square and it was hot. we had incredible energy and enthusiasm for all the exercises, even when the corps didn't get the new ones we rolled out this week. we were patient and demonstrated everything over again. so yeah, go upromise!

teacher breakfast

we had a breakfast with our teachers last thursday in which we discussed our roles on the team. each of the corps members stood up and said, this is what i do when i am not in your classroom. i feel like, i do a lot outside of the classroom. last week there were two nights that i left the office at 9:30 and then 10pm. this week, as of yet, has been much better due to the fact that i left on monday at 5pm! read that, FIVE pm, BEFORE SIX PM. and i was out of the city of boston by 7pm and sitting down to eat dinner (delicious, home-made dinner) before 8pm, which is when i would've normally left the office on a monday.

yes, city year is eating me alive. sometimes i don't like it. other times i am the one pushing myself to stay late and do work that i need to do because i am committed to it. but one of my goals is to not be at the office late every night and so far i have succeeded mostly.

my kids are enjoying the math that i teach them in the mornings, i did the 24 game on tuesday of this week and today i showed them how to recognize numbers that are evenly divisible by three. there is supposed to be a packet of math that i am supposed to teach them from, but my teacher hasn't given it to me so basically, i make up things on the spot and get them to compete against each other, or push them to come up with multiple solutions in groups at their tables. i am a fan of group work. i don't think they get enough opportunities to work as a group. as such, most of the math work they end up doing for me is done in a group.

i also made myself a new wallet (since my last one was either stolen or lost) out of clear tape with paper inside of it, so it looks pretty stellar from the outside (like a collage). it only took four hours, which i think is not bad, considering i haven't made a duct-tape wallet or anything of the sort in so long.

survival of the fittest

so every day i have to remind myself that i made a choice to be here and that everything is a challenge that will just make me stronger. it's not that desperate sounding, but its my positive motivational moment to myself before i get out of bed, to actually get out. for example, some days i forget to close my window before i go to bed so when i wake up its mad cold and i don't want to get out and i have to run to my clothes to stick them in my bed with me for a few minutes so they can warm up.

its only fall in boston and already the CRISP weather is getting to me. however, i am slowly staying in love with the city. the architecture in the downtown area is gorgeous and where i live in JP it is eclectic. i love the public transportation (which i mentioned before) but i also think it's soothing to go home on it, even when i have to wait a long time for a train or for a bus. it's not too bad. i think i have yet to establish my morning routine, so some days i almost have a heart attack on the way to school because i'm thinking that i won't make it.

it happened last week. i was approximately 3.5 minutes late and i got an ocurrence.

ocurrence - essentially, a three strikes, you're out system that keeps all corps members in check. if you're late, you get an ocurrence. and you get a verbal warning the first time. second time something bad happens (e.g. forgetting to turn something in, missing a uniform part, being out of line, jaywalking in uniform, more than one bracelet on each wrist, more than one set of earrings [and they have to be studs], etc) you sign off on it with your program manager. third time you have to talk to a site director. and fourth time really, you're gone.

this is my second ocurrence since opening day, which was september 28th. at this rate, i could be gone by december, but i am hoping that won't be the case. i know myself and my lateness so i am definitely taking care of business by not being late anymore.

this weekend, my baby brother came to visit for an hour on his way home from new hampshire to richmond, va. it was nice. then i walked from south station to forest hills station, near where i live. it took about 4 hours i think, but it was a good walk and i got to see a lot of the city. i'm going to add some of the pictures that i took on my long walk up here soon. it gave me a lot of alone time, time to not think and just listen to music and wander. as much as i love people, sometimes i need to get away.

then i went to the JP lantern parade, which was super beautiful. basically, a bunch of JP residents get together and bring homemade lanterns to the pond. the lanterns are usually made out of 2L soda bottles with the top cut off and covered in tissue paper designs and then there is a candle inside. so when it gets dark, there is a parade around the pond and it looks really pretty because it reflects off the water and its dark and there are tons of cute little kids every where and since its near halloween they come in costume (run-on).

after-school

andre spit on me and kicked me and slapped my glasses off my face.

it was the worst thing ever.

monday, monday

it's been a long time since i've written, and many things have happened. right now i'm at school again, but during the kids' special period which basically means its my down time.

a typical monday we meet as a whole corps in copley square to do PT and unity rally then we either book it back to the office to do our time sheets or we head out to the t station to get on the train and come to work. (which is where i am now). but we always arrive at a horrible time in the schedule and so now we're just sitting here waiting, so i am taking the opportunity to update a little bit.

(12:48) it's lunch time and sometimes on mondays i get a little frustrated because i am only in class for such a short amount of time that i never get anything done with my kids. i also hate being left alone in the classroom because i am not very good at getting them to do anything when the teacher is out of the room. half of the room disregards me entirely and you can't really do work with just half the classroom. i refuse to scream in the classroom and i just shut down when i can't get them to calm down. i'm not really sure what to do but i am glad that i am not thinking of becoming a teacher. it seems really hard and i think my teachers had it pretty easy because our classes were always very quiet/ready to learn/respectful -- but it definitely has to do with the school system and where i lived, etc.

now we have our weekly team meeting from 1pm to 3:30pm, then another meeting about conflict management within our team from 3:30 till hopefully no later than 5:30 and then i've got to book it back to the office for step practice. so mondays i wake up around 6am, get home around 8:30 or 9, go to bed at 11 and start again the next day. i should probably try to go to bed earlier.

i'm starting to think seriously about whether or not i should come back for a second year. i love the culture, i don't know about being in school again, i think that i would like to come back as either senior corps or staff. new england is great.

i was in vermont this weekend at a service site for concert corps -- it partnered with habitat for humanity and stephen kellog and the sixers for a fabulous service day building a house. matt and i went up and met with a bunch of people from the cynh 05-06 corps and a new cynh person, lee. overall burlington, vt was very pretty and matt's friend was gung-ho about showing us a lake and when i get home this evening i think i would like to post some pictures, etc

short week!

so because of the holiday, there was only tuesday, wednesday and thursday to be in school this week. and because the taekwondo instructor decided that he didn't need CY corps members in his after-school anymore, we didn't go to after-school, we just went back to the office after school every night. which was good for me because every night so far this week i have been there till 8. sad, but true.

well on tuesday, i was there for step practice. and yesterday and today i was in the office working on the daily briefing.

daily briefing- (straight from the handbook) "serves as a tool to communicate any relevant, pertinent and timely information to the entire site. -- it is our daily newspaper -- keeping us, literally, on the same page. It is both an internal and external civic engagement tool (means we could potentially hand it out to people interested in CY; did it on the T today).

it is a tool to announce major events, share ideas, introduce visitors, and communicate about what's going on at our sites. It also serves as an engagement tool because external people can obtain a copy and learn more about service, culture, and events. remember: 'if it's not in the daily briefing (DB), it doesn't exist.'"

so i am on the DB team and every three weeks, kevin and i get together for a couple nights and hash out some ridiculous DBs because we love to set the bar high. so our DBs this week are so amazing that i might even make PDFs of them and get them up here on a link sometime when i get back into the office.

today in school i made a contract with two kids. they have been picking on each other since i got there and today i was finally like, let's be adults about this. it was hard to get them to listen to each other because they were really busy accusing each other instead of listening, but it worked out alright. they are being held accountable by themselves, their peers, myself, their teacher, and the vice principal. hopefully it will work. today was beautiful at lunch though. one of the kids bought a chocolate chip cookie, gave me a little and gave his rival a little. i wanted to cry at lunch, but i didn't. its things like that that make me think it is possible to change the way kids think, they way they look at solutions to problems and the way they can come up with their own viable solutions instead of resorting to violence. that is my goal this year. i am not there to make these kids smarter. i am there to let them see that they have the power to make a change in their lives and that are making choices that will affect them every step of the way. to a larger extent, there is a system and that does affect them as well, but they can either work with it, outside of it in a positive manner, or against it negatively. city year is a social change organization (from PITW#99) "seeking to shift attitudes, values and resources towards the common good -- with youth as its greatest resource. in everything that we do, we need to think about how we can release the power of young people."

pitw (putting idealism to work)- over 180 pieces of collective CY wisdom that guide our serve and serve as a reference for ways to implement our mission in our daily work.

in school, :)

so here we are in school. it is my so-called planning period. in which i am actually going to plan thirty minutes of team-building activities for my class. which is approximately two or three fun activities for this afternoon. i hope the test doesn't go too long. matt and i both have special periods at the same time so we are both sitting here working on random stuff, he is checking his cityyear e-mail and i am updating the blog.

we're good city year corps members, i swear. but sometimes we need a few minutes off. back to planning for the day. today, i was surprised, we had a pop quiz and some other things changed in the classroom, like now we have the agenda for the whole day up. that certainly helps me out a lot.

also, i dont think they were ready for the pop quiz, but a surprising number of them got all the answers right. it's getting cold in boston for sure because i am wearing the fleece vest part of the uniform and matt is wearing his quarter-zip and a fleece vest under it.

long week

right so i went to rhode island last night with anthony perry (wm '05) to go to st. georges because we had the day off today (yay for día de la raza). we had opening day, and i have pictures of that as well, but the photo to the right is a building from the st. george's campus.

opening day was incredible. there was so much energy in fanueil hall that it was ok that i didn't get any sleep in the days leading up to opening day because of step and all of our other commitments. but it was great. the rush was so fabulous. it was the first day that we were all in full uniform almost (except for a few people, like 2). our step was amazing, we got rave reviews, our PT crew was on point, fanueil hall's bottom floor was packed and i was smiling the ENTIRE time. my team repped a lot, since i was in the step routine and matt received the hammer of service from his brother and then we were clearly the BEST TEAM EVER. our team sponsor representative came from upromise came and i got to hang out with him at the champions reception before the opening day ceremony. good times were had by all.

my parents came out to the service day. my dad has a thing about bugs and etc, but my mom came out to the service site all the way to the place where we were painting railings. we had the best service site, the view was incredible and it was really gorgeous.

so overall, opening day was great, really tiring. we had a party to celebrate opening day that next night after i got back from being in springfield, mass with my parents and that was also really tiring.

then we had our first full week of service. i was not prepared. at all. for the terror of fifth grade. i looked forward to the field trip we had this week (apple picking somewhere in massachusetts that reminded me of the outskirts of where i live) because it meant i wouldn't be holed up in a classroom with them. as crazy as my kids are, they really are my kids, and that realization truly hit me this week when i was helping brian with long division afterschool on wednesday. brian is a fifth grader in my class at the trotter. he has very neat handwriting and he knows a lot about sports history. he claims that he forgets things easily, but i did so many practice long division problems with him that i hope he doesn't. my hope is that i have a few starfish this year. starfish are like stories that demonstrate lots of progress in a life. i'll have to come up with a better explanation than that but for right now that's all i got. alright, so i am working on translating some starfish corps documents for the starfish working group, so i better get back to that.

starfish corps- our afterschool program for second through fifth graders that runs mid-october through the beginning of june and focuses on developing literacy and civic values through hands-on service projects and building community awareness.

boston children's choir

alright. so last night was dr. carol johnson's swearing in as the new superintendent of the boston public schools at trinity church. and of course, the boston CY corps was there in full-uniform (we looked good) and in full-force. it was basically a night of really fabulous music. and the boston children's chorus doing some fabulous a capella. and i can't let that moment go unnoticed. so while it was ridiculously hot in there and we were there an hour early, and i sat next to sara and matt, (my teammates) who is basically like a CY celebrity because both of his brothers did CY here and they all look alike so the board members are like, you look really familiar, we met some ladies behind us and one in front of us. we fanned ourselves a lot with the programs and then at the end everyone sang this little light of mine. a third grader spoke very eloquently, but also, a parent from the william monroe trotter elementary school spoke and we were very excited, because that is our service partner!

and today was the last day of training. tomorrow is our red jacket dedication ceremony. and friday is city year boston opening day. my parents are coming up, which i think is really fabulous and they are going to come to service on friday after the ceremony which is nice of them and then i am going out to springfield with them, which is not so fab, but i would like to get to spend time with them. its incredible to think that its already been a month. and also, rent is due on monday...

bring it on!

tracey, tommy and i at back bay waiting for the orange line

so tonight was our first big thing as champion engagement coordinators. i know i mentioned it before but the reason its called champion is because at city year we call our corporate sponsors champions... like they are champions of our cause. anyway, tommy, tracey and i all had to do our testimonials tonight in front of a bunch of people from T-Mobile Boston. it was incredible. they really responded to what we were saying. and we were all so fabulous. and we also got to wear our uniform -- which was the first time we got to wear it in public for an actual city year event, because most of the corps doesn't have their uniform.

earn your boots - the process by which corps members earn their uniforms, symbolically and literally. we all have to recite the pledge to our PMs (program managers) and then with our teams demonstrate a quality, spirited and creative PT routine in front of our villages from BTR.

my team hasn't had the opportunity to earn our boots yet, but we are going to rock tomorrow, i am sure. but because we had this commitment with T-Mobile tonight, we all got our uniforms on friday. i have to say, we all look fabulous, so crisp and clean. that won't last long, but i got a picture of it to remember our first time.


my testimonial (with some personal info out)

Good evening, my name is Pamela and I am a first year corps member on the Upromise Team serving in the Roxbury and Grove Hall communities. I just graduated from the College of William & Mary in May and I knew that I wanted to do something different, so while my friends were getting consulting jobs, I started to think about what really inspired me.

I had heard about City Year when I was still in high school, but I went to college because that was what everyone did at my high school. When it came time for my brother to graduate from the same high school, he applied to colleges reluctantly. I talked to him about the possibility of taking a year off and I told him about City Year, not knowing that he would take me seriously. My brother served in New Hampshire in 05-06 and when I was reluctantly applying for jobs after college, he talked to me about City Year. He encouraged me to do what I felt was right, not what society thought college graduates should do. He said, Pam, you’re only young once and I kind of felt like he was onto something.

So here I am. I have to admit, I was nervous when I flew up here and was living on my cousin’s couch for the first few days of training. I hadn’t met my roommates except through e-mail, I only half knew what I had signed up for and I could carry all of my belongings through the city of Boston on my own. I’d been exposed to the City Year culture before because I had gone to New Hampshire while my brother was serving and been an external volunteer at their camps but it was completely different to be in it myself.

Lat Thursday, I went to my school for the first time. My first impression of my 5th graders was that they wanted to kill each other and possibly me. As I sat down at the kid-sized table, it dawned on me that these were my 5th graders and I would be working with them day in and day out for the next ten months. My kids.

Throughout training, the directors tell you that you are a part of something larger than yourself. We talk about the national service movement and our role as part of City Year as corps members, but none of that really clicked for me until we were doing Physical Training for the first time in Copley Square. As we were learning the pledge, even though we were reading it off of note cards, it was incredible to hear 140 voices reciting the pledge in unison.

This year I will be a part of something larger than myself and I am proud to be able to dedicate a year of my life to service.

political struggles

i spent the majority of last night, when i was not busy practicing stepping in the street with chidi, discussing politics with a right wing man in my corps. i never realized how radical i was (and i don't even consider myself radical) until we started conversing. i like that elements of CY culture have come out, like saying, i must respectfully disagree to every statement that i said. it fired me up to talk to him. i invited him to this talk i am going to in october at the jamaica plain social forum. it's called 10 myths about immigration, presented by aviva chomsky. he got my number, shook my hand and said, i'm down, as long as it doesn't turn me liberal. bradley said i was trying to make a convert. i have realized i might be a socialist. but i have to figure out what that means before i go around declaring that.

he talked a lot about upholding democracy. and about how our nation is being threatened. our new roommate jessica is also very conservative. she's the southerner in our real world housing situation. last night i also blew up at colin because he has no respect for the fact that bradley had gone to bed. colin is loud. and he comes over uninvited, but he is a 2nd year corps member.

jessica's parents drove from tennessee and brought her a full size bed, and four huge plastic boxes full of kitchen supplies. she's still taking classes to graduate this december and she is pretty excellent. i think she was angry that we were having our little political spiel last night and she avoided it entirely.

taking it back to the fifth grade

we rode in and got to school at around 7:04am. i say around because with all the stops on the bus route, it could've been later, but that's the time the website said we would get there. shalon brought us dunkin donuts for breakfast. and there is literally a dunkin donuts on every corner of boston, but it was super nice to just be able to run out the door instead of being like, ok well i have to wake up to make oatmeal and wash the pot and wash the bowl i eat out of and the spoon.

school is crazy. its organized in pods but as of right now i have no clear system for navigating the pods. i feel like we are walking through a caterpillar's body or something. also some of the doors are push and some are pull and most of the ones that are pull i ran into and the push ones i tried to pull. go figure. we got to spend an hour with our classroom today.

the fifth grade is ridiculous. my entire class is mostly boys, a few girls -- all african american and then one little redheaded white boy. its weird to me because i'd never seen that dynamic before. in all the schools i went to it was the other way around. all white kids, a few black/brown kids. my class is out of control. they yell a lot and like to threaten each other with death. but i learned 3 names today, so that was good. benjamin talks a lot and his handwriting is very big for the 5th grade. daikari (i think thats how you spell it) is apparently usually really bad until someone comes to watch him (that's where i come in). and charles just needs encouragement. so i made some progress. after school we went into the community and it was pretty excellent. we just walked around and went to the Y and a neighborhood organization called project right! and then we went to lunch. after lunch to the neighborhood library.

but the most exciting part of today was that i finally made it to the DTA (department of transitional assistance) on mass ave. and i qualified for food stamps, which is amazing because i didn't have four paystubs or anything and i had to print my bank info from online. and not only that but even though we went 18 minutes before they closed, bradley and i still managed to get the food stamps debit cards and emergency assistance -- so my the money on my the EBT (food stamps debit) kicks in on saturday. its such a huge burden lifted off my shoulders.

first day at school
upromise. pinkies up.

actually going to school!

this is the first time that i haven't woken up till my alarm went off and also the first time i went back to sleep for another 10 minutes. i think that i need to get to bed earlier. erin, sara and k-roy are asleep downstairs so i think that i am going to go wake them up stat because we gotta go soon. here we go! (said slick rick style)

stomp clap slap

i learned how to step today.

also, BPS (boston public schools) teachers came in to do literacy training with us. i think if i have to sit in chairs in the MLK space one more day i am going to die. i need to post a picture of the MLK space up here i think though, because its been such a huge part of training.

we also learned how to write afterschool lesson plans for the starfish programs and unit plans. thankfully i am not the executive coordinator for the starfish program at our school, matt is.

today i found out i got the champion engagement coordinator position that i applied for last week!! so exciting. basically it means that i am the go-to person on the team that deals with our team sponsor. our team sponsor is upromise, which should be fun. i have my first CEC event this sunday by doing my (as of right now, non-existent) testimonial at a T-Mobile event. T-Mobile is one of our national sponsors -- they give us phones. and because its a big event i might get my uniform early!!! so excited for that. if not, then i'll have to go out and buy some shoes because i dont have any business casual shoes with me. i dont know what i was thinking when i packed. i'll probably hit the thrift stores though, definitely not a real store.

we got our first paycheck today and it was, disappointingly small. but i am ok with that.

back at the office

my street has a little too much action at night. which is why i can't sleep.

but back to BTR. basically, i thought i would be able to write about every day, but i am going to write really quickly about the most salient points because it is way too difficult to cover what i am going to call the entire sensation that was BTR.

we did a lot of workshops that challenged people to open up to each other, to question each other, to work towards educating themselves, towards realizing we have a lot of work to do with ourselves before we start working with the kids, and basically, to bring together a group of 142 (now 141, someone dropped out today) individuals that know nothing about each other in a short amount of time. i dont think we could have developed the camaraderie that we did in four days back at the office, but we managed to do it isolated in the woods, and i am pretty psyched for my corps.

we ate a lot of crazy camp food, did a lot of team building, did some service at the camp where we do BTR (my team helped to build a fence).

upromise william monroe trotter elementary school team serving
in the roxbury and grove hall communities

myself, kevin/r-roy (behind the pole) and matt on the right -- setting a post

i have come to the realization that even though the nametags that we wear every day are dorky, they are still super useful. it is nice to hear my name in our interactions, even with people that i don't know very well but recognize their faces.

so now we are back at the office doing more fabulous training, except it is really hard to sit still all day. i am glad that we will be prepared when we enter the schools because that was one of my biggest fears about teach for america, not being adequately prepared. today the MBTA people came to talk about safety and our role as ambassadors on the T. we get passes to ride around for free, even though they take a deposit out of our accounts. so at the end of the year we get the money back if we haven't lost our T passes. which is pretty nice if you think about all the money we could spend on transportation a month. not to mention 10 months.

on thursday we get to go to our school and visit in the community and do our PT out there. hopefully one day i will get to take a good picture of PT being done so i can put it up here. opening day is coming up for city year in a week and a half and i can't even believe it. our first day of after school is the 25th, which is like, next week!!

returning from BTR

BTR (basic training retreat) was hard. we woke up at early morning time to get to the office before 6:30am on monday because on time is late, at least, according to my crazy team program manager (shalon chester). shalon is named after an alien. we rode on the bus for two hours into western Mass, which for me is just about like telling me that i am going to colorado or something. i had no idea where we were and because i passed out for the entire ride i didn't really see the road signs or anything.

during the first week of BTA (basic training academy) we were in crazy teams which are named after boston neighborhoods. i was on the mattapan crazy team and so on the bus we were organized by crazy teams still. however, you are supposed to find out your permanent teams at BTR, so after our welcome to camp beckett (a YWCA camp, YMCA, something), we were all given pieces of cut up pictures by our crazy team program managers with instructions to find other people with pieces that fit. i was hoping to get on the boston civic engagement team (which mostly deals with physical service and engaging our sponsors) but alas, i was placed on an elementary school team. however, it was my second choice and only because the program manager is.... SHALON! my crazy team PM so it made my life easier not having to adjust to a new PM or senior corps member (they are like assistant PMs). so we met our new, permanent teams for our flagship service.

flagship service - our year-long commitment (in-school/after-school, young heroes, city heroes, and civic engagement) in the national service movement as city year corps members

and then we took a lot of pictures. my team is pretty excellent, despite the fact that i was really upset (but didn't show it) that i didn't get my first choice team. i'm one of the oldest corps members, along with matt. we are both older than jessica, who is our senior corps member (SCM). then erin, who went to school at UNC-charlotte for a couple years and then decided she wanted to take a year off. then there's k-roy (kevin roy, but he goes by k-roy), who is a second year corps member. basically, he loved the CY experience so much that he came back in the same position as a first year corps member. then we have three recent high school grads (j-dot, ashley, deshawn) who are all from the boston area originally. i like that we are so diverse in just about everything that we are.

after we got our teams we had an hour one.

hour one - an hour in which the PM and SCM lay down the rules/expectations for being on their team and where they tell us about our service and anything else that is vital to being on the team.

we all got divided into villages by team. the villages were named spirit, discipline, purpose, and pride, just like what is on the back of our quarter-zip sweatshirts when we get our uniform. my village was the discipline village. the first day we had a workshop on the privilege line and oppression. the privilege line went like so:

1) we all went outside and stood in a long line, shoulder to shoulder.
2) the faciltators read questions outloud twice and we either took steps forwards or backwards.
3) people got reallly separated. i was towards the middle-back.
4) after we all looked at each other strangely, except for the heterosexual, white, rich-type males that were in the front because most of us figured they would be there, we went inside. (even i feel guilty saying that now, but its the system)
5) we sat in the chairs the way we had been outside, so i was in the back.
6) then we talked about what we learned.

1. can't judge a book by its cover.
2. its nobody's fault because we are all victims of internalized stuff and institutions within the system.
3. it was sociology, but it was interesting to see it played out in the group of people that i will be working with this year.
   

it was weird because i felt like the people in the front were trying to justify why they were there instead of acknowleding that they had lead more privileged lives than the rest of us. yes, i consider myself privileged, i have a super loving family, i have never worried about if i was going to eat or not, or if i wasn't going to have a home or anything like that. my parents took an interest in my education, etc, but there were other factors that placed me in the back, such as being brown, being an immigrant, english not being my first language (although now it kind of is), etc. i mean i definitely didn't ever get everything i wanted when i was growing up, but i think that was ok. i didn't want the people in the front (mostly guys) to justify their position in the room, i wanted them to recognize WHY they were up there. it was a long night for most of us. and people of course got angry, but the biggest rule at BTR was agree to disagree.

agree to disagree - means that you can respectfully disagree to anything but don't get an attitude.

then after the workshop we had free time, which basically meant showering in the dark and going to bed so that we could wake up at 6:30am for breakfast and PT.

PT - physical training. not hard, but we do PT to demonstrate spirit, discipline, purpose and pride. in a big location for all 140 of us.

will update on the other days soon.

pre-retreat

so our first week of BTA (basic training academy) is over and we are about to go on BTR (basic training retreat) for the next four days. i think i am just going to post the conversation i had with helen because it kind of sums up what BTA has been like and then when i get back post about the awesome RETREAT!!! and the highlights of last week and training. just to say that i have met a lot of people from literally all walks of life and i am truly glad that i am here. i also have a bed, so do not worry (if you, the reader were worried) because i am no longer sleeping on the floor. although this morning i discovered that we are so close to the next house that i can hear their alarm when it goes off. so great. also now we have internet in my apartment (which is the top two floors of a house) so hopefully it will be easier and faster and more convenient to update regularly. i am missing WM a lot, mostly my 07 people, but even if i was at WM, none of them would be there because we are pretty much all over the world. but i mean, we all made our own choices and i hope that everyone is happy where they are. i am happy here most of the time.


9:44 AM Helen: how's the job?
9:46 AM me: so cool
haha yeah
for sure
its weird
because its like
in order to foster idealism we have to create a culture where idealism can thrive
and thats what we've done all week
Helen: for example
?
9:49 AM me: for example
these things called power tools
which is basically to facilitate interaction between corps members
like stand & declare
every time you address a group
to show respect for the group and yourself
you stand up say your name and what team you are serving on
and then say your statement
Helen: that's a good idea!
me: regardless of the fact that most of us have vague ideas of our names
yeah
or
9:50 AM daily briefings
its part of the idea that your corps should alwasy be informed
so in the morning we get a newsletter
and we read it all together
and every section has like
a little thing
so you have the date
you say, good MORNING CITY YEAR BOSTON. today is september 6, 2007 and you lived to serve another day
9:51 AM and then the corps responds, and thats a beautiful thing.
Helen: that is amazing!
me: and every one is reading along on their own newsletter
and PT
like, its not really intense physical training
but it is a great like out in the city type thing
Helen: what a sweet idea though
me: in most sites its in a historical location or a central location in the city
9:52 AM so TONS of people walk by because we do it right as people are going to work
like 140 young people
doing jumping jacks in sync
its ridiculous
and we have chants
like
city year boston ARE YOU READY for some powerful lunges?
and we say
boston's always ready
and then!
the leader says
city year boston what time is it?
9:53 AM and we say: its time for us to represent (and then we start stepping.. like really) with spirit (beat beat) discipline, (beat beat), purpose, (beat beat) and pride (beat) yeah, pride.
Helen: hahahaha! i am picturing this and loving it so much! and i feel like you would be really good at it and i wuld like to represent with you
me: hahaha
if we have a video i will send you one
its pretty crazy
Helen: goood!!!!!!


here are my housemates...and public transportation. yeah. its love.

internet & furniture

so one of my neighbors is apparently donating internet to the neighborhood. and by that i mean that he/she doesn't lock up his/her wireless so we can use it sometimes when the signal comes in, but only on martin's macbook.

so far, we have picked up more furniture in the street, a camping chair and some assorted kitchen supplies. one of our neighbors, a few blocks away, sold bradley a really sweet twin bed frame, mattress & boxspring with a trundle bed for $50 and then gave allegra a free table. so i think everyone right now has a mattress except for me. i really really want one, but it is so hard to get anything in this town without a car and lots of money. well, i would've paid 50 but the boys were working for each other and so i didnt even know bradley was getting a bed until the man called us back today.

my spanish on the other hand, is one of the most useful things. we got a deal on a sweet table the other day at a yard sale and allegra got a free frame for her mirror from the lady... spanish. holla. sometimes though, we walk down the street and i can't understand because i think the people are from the DR and that spanish is fast. faster than a tongue moving your mouth for regular spanish.

tomorrow is our first day of work, and i have to admit... i am kind of nervous. really nervous. i don't know what to expect, even though i've been living with these people, i dont know what the rest of the corps is like. although, i heard last year that with such a big corps you don't even really get to know everyone because all of the work you do is team based. i guess tomorrow is my first adventure in finding that out.

furniture

so in order to acquire a mattress and various other furniture things for our new abode, we just walked down the street and went looking for the trash. the mattress (full-sized, mind you) we rolled home for about 12 or 15 blocks on a skateboard. we also found a mirror, a floor mat, various pots and pans, a sewing machine and also we went back and picked up a variety of small tables when we got a car in our hands. the mattress is martin's (one of my roommates) and we made him disinfect it and leave it out in the sun all day before we even let him bring it into our house because of things like BED BUGS.

oh yeah and i am currently mooching at java jo's and my raspberry tea is running out. i will write something big and post later i suppose.

java jo's, part 2

so clearly, i don't feel that bad mooching off of java jo's internet, although the coffee smell is going to make me pretty sick i think and rahter soon. i am thinking that i could go broke soon just by coming here and buying the smallest thing so i can use the internet, so i think that we should find a new place, but for right now its ok. i can always go to the library and use their computers for 15 minutes for free, but i would have to do a lot of prep work beforehand (such as writing blog entries and then just uploading them). so that's how much we don't have internet in our house. and we have to wait till the 18th or so till we get it, which is good because none of us even get our first pay checks until the 20th, hopefully.

pay checks. what i mean by that is that it will be a living allowance of about 640 dollars (after taxes) a month. which means in the 10 months i am here i will be making a grand total of $8,000 (pre-taxes, $6,400 after taxes and in twelve months i would make 9,100 pre-taxes), which is well below the 2007 poverty line for one person as set by the US government at $10,210. so, i am sure that you can guess that it makes me eligible for food stamps, free medical services at the hospital, and a variety of other things i hope to be able to access here in massachussets. corps members usually apply for all these things about a month into their service year (or four pay stubs in and we get paid every week) so for the first month, we are all on our own in the very expensive city of Boston. however, that is the whole point of AmeriCorps, the experiences that you have whether you are dealing with your projects or trying to figure out how to get by. i am lucky that i am living in a house with six other people because that cuts down on rent significantly. in addition, i am living with all corps members in a really heavy City Year area, and Jamaica Plain is also one of the places where City Year corps members are active in the schools, so basically i will be surrounded by City Year for the next 10 months. my house is what alums call a corps house, because all of us our corps members and we are on the orange line of the T.

basically what i am doing here with the free internet is trying to score a free mattress, boxspring and a bed frame or at least a mattress since i have none of that and sleeping on the wood floor was pretty uncomfortable last night, although it was bearable. also the fact that i am not as young as i think i am, or my bones are falling apart. so i am spending a lot of time looking on craigslist for things.

another thing that is cool about new england is servenewengland.org and thus because we are volunteers, we are eligible for really cheap grocery packages. i just ordered my first one. especially since we don't have a grocery store nearby, this is good. ok i just found a grocery store, but i dont think its very reasonably priced. like many things in boston. martin (one of my housemates) just went looking for a free mattress on the corner, but he has returned because its not there. i think the idea is to get by spending as little money as possible for the next couple weeks since we aren't getting paid. i might get another job, we'll see. java jo's is hiring...

new house & classy roommates

so my roommates and i finally got to move-in and sign our lease yesterday. i am pretty excited to be with them, we all seem to be on the same vibe and that really makes me happy. granted the whole high-school thing is a little rough, but i think it will even itself out eventually and i am prepared to stick it out with them. we divided our two floors into a guys floor and a girls floor and we have respective bathrooms as well. i will definitely try to put up some pictures very very soon because our place is so amazing and we got a super great deal on it.

yesterday was a meet & greet cookout for cityyear alum and incoming corps (that would be me) and it was actually a set-up for some forced mingling, but it turned out ok, we met some really great people and i found out that tons of corps members live in jamaica plain, which is another great reason to live in our most awesome neighborhood. we all rode back together on the orange line on the T (part of the mbta) which is where everyone lives, including charlie rose (who is a big guy in cy).

so things are going well and when we have internet in our place or when i dont feel so guilty about mooching it off java jo's (our neighborhood café)... gotta run we're going to target on the bus.

i have arrived!

so its pleasantly hot here, not too bad for the northeast. however, i have to run & meet a girl from city year soon because she called and i think that is awfully nice. my goal for today is to get used to being in a city. from the few hours i've been out i've noticed how much i am not very good at cities. i can navigate them, but people stopping to ask you for money (like the people that want you to save the children) and homeless people are not really things that you see much in the suburbs. i think i brought too much stuff even though i tried really hard to not do so. as evidenced by my solo struggle with my massive suitcase this morning on the T. i kept thinking, didn't you learn from when you went to spain and had to deal with the metro there??! so a more thorough update is to come, probably later when i get back here and call it a day since due to pre-trip anxiety that induced slight insomnia, i didn't sleep much.

progress!

so far, some of my small piles have made it into the one suitcase i am taking. also, i decided my blender and a small frying pan are essential to my survival in urban Boston. along with food processor and non-perishables just in case i cant get to the grocery store right away. and also some toilet paper, which was my mom's idea. ok, maybe the blender isn't essential, but i have a feeling that since the only person that lives nearby is a boy, he won't be bringing those things. but perhaps that is a bad assumption.

it is also hard to pack because i will be back in two weeks or less for that rotary interview and then i can bring more stuff/whatever i forget back to Boston with me. and my mom is coming for opening day on the 28th of september with the promise of bringing me more books. although i have to say, i haven't really sacrificed that many books. i am only taking books in spanish, one capoeira book, two dictionaries, and a couple notebooks that i believe are necessary. also i am taking my berimbau, which is probably a really bad idea, but i can't imagine going to capoeira without it. hopefully it can get checked or pass as a carry on. it's very very delicate.

the more i think about city year, the less i feel like it was the best decision, but i guess that happens. probably on wednesday i will feel very different about it at registration, but i think that energy will come from being around all the right people that are excited about it as well.

beginning to pack

i just recently returned from Nicaragua and i washed all my clothes, thinking that it would be a great start to packing all of my important belongings so that i can transport them to Boston next Tuesday, but my great start was ruptured by well, my own procrastination. my clothes are clean for the first time in 2 weeks, which is fabulous, but i have no idea on how to start picking and choosing things to take to Boston.

when i moved into the College, it was easier because i just figured i could pack our family van to capacity and anything i forgot i figured i could just pick up on a trip home. clearly, the boston-virginia drive is one i won't be doing anytime soon given that i don't have a car and i am flying to boston on jetblue, which severely limits my packing style. should i take clothes? should i take kitchen appliances? my favorite chair? all?

for example, are clothes really necessary when you have a uniform that you have to wear everyday. however, the uniform must be wrinkle-free and so, my kind brother, a city year alum NH 06, bought me an iron at a yard sale over the summer. he handed it to me and said "pam, you will need this." and i'm thinking what? i usually avoid ironing at all costs. in college i think i ironed my clothes all of 10 times, and now i have a really extreme looking iron that i will most likely use several times a week. but in general, the biggest problem towards actually packing for Boston is that i create my own distractions.

and i also keep thinking of everyone that i know that has to pack to move really far away or across the country and i'm like, well packing for boston should take approximately 3 hours, tops. when clearly i think this thought process will get me nowhere fast.