late nights

so i've been doing a lot of thinking recently about the senior corps position that i accepted back in march in the service department and today that thinking culminated in me declining the position.

there's not much to say except that it didn't feel right. and of all the things i've been working on this year, its to trust myself more. i can trust others no problem until they break that trust, but trusting myself is much harder. maybe because i am very hard on myself. also i want to sleep at night next year and even though i know i can't base next year's experiences off of this year, its hard not do that.

so here i go to bed, in an attempt to make a dent in my accumulated since september sleep debt.